the only requirement

Hello, again. Me, again.

So I was doing some reading on Tradition 3, in my new-found motivation to ... I don't know ... participate in recovery??? I am a much nicer person when participating in recovery. Anyway ...

Tradition 3. The only requirement for membership is a desire to ...

I've often heard this tradition abbreviated as, "I belong because I say I belong." Most of what I read was very meeting specific - as in, the only requirement to be in program is a desire to stop. The thought occurred to me that it is pretty significant that Tradition 3 does NOT say that the only requirement for recovery is a desire to stop. I think that's because "wanting it" is simply never enough. I can want it all day long and it doesn't mean squat. And maybe that's because generally, what you get is in direct correlation to what you put in. If all you ever put in is just a desire to stop, then all you're going to get is membership. But if you want recovery, then you've got to put in the 12-step footwork.

Which brings me to the other thought I had. I often hear people say that they love this tradition because it means they always have a place to go, or no one can kick them out and make them leave, etc. Or as applied to my actions, I can't kick anyone else out or deny anyone else membership based on my judgments of them.

But, from an alternative perspective ...

I think that with every tradition comes both a right and a responsibility. I have a right to be a member, and the only requirement to be a member is a desire to stop. But with that right comes the responsibility of desiring my membership. Now I don't think that the tradition itself actually imposes this responsibility, since to do so would actually violate the tradition, wouldn't it? But in order to truly receive the benefits of the traditions, that's where the responsibility comes into play - similar to the "you get what you put into it" theory. If you take on the responsibilities that stem from the traditions, you get so much more.

So how do I do this???

Well, what would it look like if I desired my membership? I suppose that if I really desired my membership, I would treat it as the life-saving factor that it is. I would want to participate in it daily. I would want to learn as much as I could about the principles of the program and the steps and the traditions. I would want to work the steps and practice the traditions and the principles of the program. I would want to go to meetings and to talk to newcomers about the benefits I have received. I would want to sponsor, and to be sponsored. I would want to do service; read the literature. I would want to work really hard at being the best member I can be, knowing full well that I will never be (and cannot be) the best member or the perfect member.

There are times when thinking about what I can "get" from a step or tradition is important - I get relief from my unhealthy desires when I work the steps; I get a clear conscience when I take care of my side of the street. But for me it's important to focus on what I need to do rather than what I'm going to get (probably because of that temperamental, bratty child living inside me.) So while it's great to know that nobody can kick me out, it's even better to know what I need to do to stay in and do well. After all, in all honesty, if someone were to tell me I was kicked out of program, I think I would most likely fight harder than ever to stay in! Nothing like telling stubborn-old-me what I can't have or what I can't do to make sure that I get it or do it! Hmmm .... the only requirement for membership is a refusal of membership by another member ... that might work!

Funny, because when I started this post, I was all about thinking how to apply this tradition to my life (as opposed to program specifically) - I was thinking about how I've been around long enough to "get" how the traditions apply directly in program, but when I apply them in my everyday life, that's what really makes a significant impact in my world. But that's not where it ended up going. Maybe I'll write more soon about applying this to non-program-type stuff, like work or homelife. I'm sure I've got plenty to say about that too!

By the way ... I just noticed today that now you can also read the AA 12&12 on the AA website! I always knew they had the Big Book, but having the 12&12 too is especially cool I think. Check it out!